Nope. I would like to. But I can't.
Unfortunately feminism is the only tool I have to protect myself in a world that recognises the able white masculine cis-male voice, one that I don't fully have, as the only valid and legitimate voice.
Before I came to animal activism I 'tried out' some other general social justice groups. I never really felt I fit in. I knew I wanted to be active and that I belonged somewhere on the left of the political spectrum but it was too confusing to see so many different 'lefts' and none that I would feel at home with. In fact, I didn't know what was so alienating to me in all those activist groups I tried to join but failed, until I started reading feminist literature, which I had to actively seek out - unless I picked a module at uni that was taught by a woman - although some of them were still very masculine.
It's explicitly identifying with feminism that enabled me to see the whole picture. Having always been a feminist, not knowing that it does not go without saying for most people, I didn't realise until my late teens that I need to actively seek others out who share the same values as me. Finding 'my kind' of feminism was a huge journey for me. After I discovered TERFS (Trans-exclusionary feminists) I got a bit of a reality check once again, realising that feminism doesn't equal feminism and I still needed to dig deeper to find what exactly I want to fight for/against.
Feminism lead me to activism, as feminism for me meant the total rejection of discrimination based on the socially constructed categories we give each other and everything around us. Feminism quickly equalled anarchism for me. Then logically, those two ideologies combined lead me to veganism. I had the biggest epiphany of my life when I realised that what we do to animals is the same evil that we perpetrate against other humans who we somehow categorise as lesser based on their gender/sexuality/age/ability/race/natonality etc or in fact, their species. It was not so much that I first had a strong feeling of solidarity with non-human women, but rather that I logically understood that I am oppressing these women the same way that patriarchy oppresses me. Out of that conclusion arose the deep empathy to my animal sisters (and brothers).
The fight for animal liberation symbolised the ultimate fight for me, the one that would free us all. The one thing that needed fixing so that we all could live happily ever after. When I found my way to animal activism, I once again was in for disillusionment on a big scale. I thought, this must be the place where people already have figured out how discrimination and oppression work. I will learn so much! Wrong again (well, wrong about how everybody will have made the same conclusions as me, not wrong about the fact that I am learning a lot). My first animal rights protest had ladies in their underwear with 'blood' all over their bodies, 'but ok' I thought, 'they are doing this voluntarily, their bodies their rules. I admire their courage'. Then, the further I looked and the deeper I got into the Animal Rights community (world wide a rather small network), the more I saw racism, ableism, nationalism, sexism and especially misogyny popping up everywhere, in AR communities in all cities and all countries.
This put me in an awkward situation, as by critiquing animal liberationists and vegans I felt I am betraying my comrades, who just like me face ridicule, shame and harassment every day for their choice not to eat animals and to speak out for their rights. Recognising that all of us, no matter how oppressed we are, still benefit from human privilege I tried to suppress being affected by the many micro- and macro-violences produced within my new family, against me and others. We had common enemies that I would rather focus on, appreciating all efforts to save our non-human friends*.
It took me about a year to figure out which spaces are safe and which ones aren't within this community. I am still figuring that out actually. And I only now figured out, that it is ok for me to build my own space and establish my own rules. I am still working on not feeling that I need to justify myself for the decisions I make but thanks to a growing feminist vegan community who recognises the same faults with not only the sexual politics of meat but also the sexual politics of veganism and animal liberation (which are both an expression of patriarchy) I feel more empowered every time I overcome a setback.
So, it looks like I'll have to continue talking about feminism as long as I live. I will never cease to speak the language of feminism until we are all free and there won't be the need to call it 'feminism' anymore. Even if it means that I need to stand up to people who demand I be held accountable for suggesting these unreasonable and uncomfortable ideas I have, I will continue to do so. That is the most valuable thing I've learned from animal rights, actually, how to stand up for the things you believe in. It is frustrating and it takes out a lot but there are people who will support you and you need to surround yourself with your kind of people. Jennai Bandock is one such incredibly strong person, who does her own thing because she knows she is right. For anybody who is frustrated by announcing, explaining and justifying yourself, I recommend her speech with the title 'The Hidden Cost of Patriarchy'. Absolutely empowering!
I will leave you with some of my favourite written lines ever, arisen from the brilliant mind that is Luce Irigaray**: 'It is still better to speak only in riddles, allusions, hints, parables. Even if asked to clarify a few points. Even if people plead that they just don't understand. After all, they have never understood'.
If anybody ever gives you shit for standing up against oppression, remember that.
*I just now noticed that I am writing in the past tense, as if I have left all of this behind me. In fact these developments in my thinking are so fresh and they hit me so quickly that I am still working through them.
**Irigaray is a brilliant old school feminist but not vegan as far as I know and I am not sure how far she extents her thoughts on liberation with regards to gender issues either.
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